You are the star your child looks up to

We are creatures that are fascinated with looking up to the sky, searching for answers in the stars. Yet know that you are the star your child looks up to the most. 

Still, many people will automatically think of all the cons of parenting. Dirty nappies to be changed, the mess the children will leave behind, and high pitched screaming.

To me, the hardest part is not all the manual work, nor the sleepless nights. I agree they are challenging to deal with, but it’s not forever, and you can always get help with it.  

I’m more concerned about being a good parent, the right role model for my children and an excellent protector.

Thinking ahead

You see, I made a habit of thinking ahead of things and playing with different perspectives and scenarios. 

When it comes to my children, I wish the best for them in life, and that is providing them with the best tools they’ll ever need.

Those tools are core values that I know they’ll need to strive in life, but  

here’s the tricky part: I need to make them mine first.

Children are like sponges; they are quick learners, smart and blunt too!

If you don’t practice what you preach, you’ll be contradicting yourself, which will potentially confuse them in what to believe.

My parents, my biggest mentors

Many years ago, I would not have admitted it; I would even rebel against this thought. As a child, I adored them, but when I became a teenager, I wanted to stay as far as possible from them. I was the first child and felt like they wanted me to be someone else than my artistic and dreamy self.

Yet the truth is, my parents are my most significant and most excellent mentors in my life.

I never told them though, but if they read this, I hope they can put to rest any doubt about my upbringing.

I struggled most with my mom, who I clashed many times in a big way. After all, I inherited her strong character and determination and combined it with my rebellious nature.

For a long time, I had a love/hate relationship with her, and recently I’ve come to an extraordinary realisation. The depth and intensity of this relationship show how strong is our bond.

My dad has been the voice of guidance when I needed something on point and sharp yet reassuring. While my mom was like an unpredictable sky, my dad was the steady earth that kept me grounded.

My most important life lessons 

If I had to share with you the most five meaningful lessons I’ve learned from them are these:

  1. Keep an open mind and ready to learn; you will feel less resistance when learning something new. My dad would always tell me this in his own words, especially when travelling abroad.
  2. Work hard, persist harder. My mom is a true Filipina when it comes to working ethics, yet I could only do this when I was passionate about my work.
  3. Money comes and goes, that’s the beauty of it! If you want more go and create more. My dad would always point out that he (nor my mom) come from rich origins and any wealth they would posses was the product of their hard work.
  4. Do not be afraid to travel and see the world. Make sure you learn as much as you can! It’s a combined philosophy of both my parents; they both love to see new places and discover its culture.
  5. Make most of this life; see how far you can go. My mom loves challenging herself, and sometimes she can be perceived as fearless (and crazy AF). But the greatest achievements require the boldest people; it requires courage, determination and passion.

When we face a challenge we seek answers in our past 

I remember the wise words of a mom I used to work for when I was in Ireland, let’s call her Trisha. She was going through a very challenging moment as dad often travelled for work. 

Also, Trisha’s newborn daughter suffered severe colic and gave her a hard time with it. The baby couldn’t sleep lying down because she would start throwing up so badly; therefore, she needed to sleep upright. Trisha would sleep most of the times sitting on the bed reclined on the headrest with the baby on her chest.

So it was my job to give Trisha a break (usually she would go to sleep) by keeping the little girl upright in my arms.

One day, speaking with Trisha, she told me something that I still remember today.

“Live your life to the fullest and accomplish your goals and dreams. Because if one day you have to go through the darkest of times, you will look back. If you find regrets, you will go down, and god knows how you will get up. But if you find yourself with the reassurance that you have achieved something, you’ll find the strength to face anything.”

Keep moving forward

“As long as I’m alive, I’ll keep going on until my last breath.”

It’s a wish that embodies confidence, strength, conviction and truth. I wish this for my children and my beloved ones, not only for myself.

If you are like me, you want the reassurance that your children will live their lives with determination, integrity, joy, and freedom. 

There’s no secret formula that can assure you 100% success for that. What I can only say is that you are an essential person for them, BE THEIR INSPIRATION.

From the moment you wanted to be their mom, you automatically became their carer, their guardian, and their provider.

Yet they will grow to look up to you as their world, especially their first years. You will forever be their most prominent teacher and mentor through your daily actions, for better or worst. 

Choose better always, the best you can; you have nothing to lose and so much for you and your children to gain. I believe in you and so your children.

With light and joy,

Diosa Llabaria B.

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