If we would meet right now, would you let me know you?
When I was as a teenager, I was very interested in the stories behind the wedding portraits I would see in my friends’ house. Their moms would catch me contemplating them and when asked “would you like me to tell you my story?”.
I would grin as kid in Christmas.
My friends would usually just roll their eyes and go ahead to get the space (for study) ready and yell from upstairs “just a quick story mom ’cause we need to study!”
I love people’s life stories.
Just in case you are wondering what do I mean with the title.. What am I looking for?
The answer is YOU.
You are the reader and I am curious about you, about what prompted you to check out my pins on Pinterest, read my posts, and even went to check my bio.
I mean, I’m interested in you as a PARENT, your current chapter of life.
What does worry you? Tell me, what do you really wish for yourself? Tell me, what do you want for your children?
I don’t mean to be nosy (I’m aware I sound inquisitive, I’m just intrigued by you), I want to UNDERSTAND YOU better.
Connecting with you is a blessing that if you are willing to share with me it’ll in return help both of us: I’ll be able to better my services to help you get the best outcome for you.
We live in an era and society that we crave for connection, but because of Fear (of rejection or misjudgment) we stop ourselves from reaching out other people.
I am curious about your lifestyle and daily struggles in the personal and family department. Does it trigger you to read this?
It is understandable though, so I’m not going to chase you nor could call you, but I’m letting you know I’m genuinely here to help you.
From a mom to another mom
I am a mother too, my son is beautiful two year old yet a handful one with endless energy (sometimes I think he sleeps because of habit, not because he’s really tired).
Motherhood is a chapter of life that could mean struggle for many women, it is definitely not an easy one, but it can be very fulfilling and very special.
From a very young age I knew I wanted to be a mom.
I’ve dreamt of it with so much joy and excitement. I was so naive.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom! However, it was not as easy or smooth as I thought it would be.
I had my worries and challenges (and I still do now and then), and one experience in particular almost broke me in two: the loss of your first (unborn) child. Nothing prepares you for that…
It took me months to come back to reality, and I went on two trips with my husband just to get away from everything and barely talked to family and friends for months.
Once I started to heal and came into my senses, I restarted life again with a scar inside that felt like a void whenever I thought of my angel baby.
On top of that, I started to feel so lonely, I didn’t have my friends where we lived: most of my friends and family are abroad.
But what I struggled most was with expectations and identity. Let me elaborate this in the next paragraph.
By any chance you are struggling with this also, maybe it could help you understand more about the why behind it and how to get over it.
First of all, I want to you to be aware that the BACKGROUND you grew up in determines a lot of your PERCEPTION about family.
In those first years of our lives we shape the perception of family, and it’s also then where you might acquire some of these dreadful expectations (that are not our own!).
An example of my own experience is that ‘Married women have to be always together with their husband’. Meaning that if I go out by myself, have a meal out without him or travel alone or with friends but without him..
Prompts people to ask and assume the relationship is in trouble.
When I moved to Ireland and started working with families, it was a shock to my system to seeing the Irish doing the opposite.
The mom of the first family I worked with told me these beautiful words:
“Even though we get married or even when we have children, we never lose our individuality”.
This is a powerful statement that I adjusted my perception to it, and now live by it.
Are you wondering how to do that without ending in drama and looking selfish? The words you are looking for are RESPECT and COMMUNICATION.
When I became a mom, I had to tackle the expectations that were ingrained in me in order to keep my sanity, because it was questioning me WHO I WAS big time.
What’s my IDENTITY?
When I say that “expectations were giving me a hard time in finding out who I was” I meant in the sense that I wanted to do certain things but for some reason I struggled.
This might sound stupid but I double questioned every parenting decision I was going to make, I always had that voice nagging in the back of my mind.
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
“If you do that it’ll look so bad and people will gossip or criticise you!”
That voice was usually my mom’s or my grandmother’s.
I don’t blame them as they are product of their own environment and time, which clashes to mine. Their perception doesn’t necessary have to be helpful for my situation, it was for theirs but not for mine.
Another example of mine is when I wanted to travel with my baby son, my mom insisted I shouldn’t. That exposing baby to all that experience when he’s only few months old could be bad for him. She also mentioned I should wait at least A YEAR when getting him on a plane.
In the end I did what I thought was best, I made sure he had all his baby vaccines at 3 months and we flew from London to Barcelona.
It’s a two hour and a half flight, and he (baby son) was very good and even was a charmer with ladies looking at him and smiling!
My mother wasn’t very happy about it but I realised back then that I’m a mom now.
I GET TO DECIDE what is best for my family, NOT her.
The reason for my trip was that my grandpa’s health was declining and I wanted to make sure he would be able to meet his great-grandson as my grandma didn’t have that chance.
The overall experience was positive and we had an amazing time and all my family was delighted to meet the new addition to the family.
It’s very important to know yourself and where you stand in your life, specially when you want to pursue your dreams or goals.
For better or for worse
I used to grow up thinking that marriage and having children were the most important things in life.
I used to believe exchanging loyalty and love vows with your beloved other half was one of the most special moments in life.
How come is much easier to do that with a person you know for few months or years.
But you cannot be as loyal or loving with yourself who you have known for all your life?
We take for granted ourselves so much and funnily enough, it was only when some disaster happened that I fully understood that.
I really wanted to provide the best for my children so when I became a mom, BEING and CARING myself is paramount.
For better or for worse, we live with our own self until death do as part, growing up we forget the important vows we made with ourselves. It took me a while to remember and apply them, but it’s so worth it!
So my dear friend, it’s never late to get back to your own promises and restore your integrity.
It is not a selfish thing, we were given life and love for a reason, and it all starts within.
That’s why I would love to know more about you!
If you want the same as me but not sure what to do or you are struggling to find your voice, know that I can help.
Let me know more about by Loading…” target=”_blank”>CLICKING HERE to be part of my questionnaire. I can’t wait to meet you! 🙂
With love and Joy,