Mindset

Positive Mindset growth Tips

So you’ve heard of Mindset and have some sort of idea of what it is (if not, get to my post About your mindset) but you would like to know more like some Positive Mindset growth tips or where to start. Then you will like this post, and I hope it will serve you well in your journey of self care and personal growth.

Do not take for granted

First of all, think of our ways of thinking, our mentality, our perception of the world. Seems like to me that they are unfairly taken for granted.

What do I mean with that? What I’m trying to say it’s we are led by what affects us around us, and that’s normal, but what it’s sad is that many think or believe we have no control about how we are led by them.

Wrong! We’ve got choices, we get chances, and we can make decisions.

It is easier (somehow) to follow the norm or what “others” expect from us. Family expectations, societal norms, peer pressure.. What about us?

You know, by the end of the day, we get to bed to sleep, then it’s only us and our dreams.

Each of us is a living story, like a movie, and it’s about us. We are the main character and our life is about our decisions and our emotions. Seeing it like this, from afar, doesn’t it make you wonder why you do like you do?

This is a reminder that you are important, the most important character in your story of life. Do not take YOURSELF for granted.

Step back and watch

My second tip is one that I share with everybody I talk to and it’s been an eye-opener yet it’s very simple. Now that you are reading this is your turn to try it out: think you are someone else, imagine you detach from your own body.

Got it? Look at yourself afar, what do you see?

When we take a step back, we see the whole picture of our life and what’s happening. We detach from the roller coaster of emotions we experience in our own skin.

Strong emotions like stress, frustration, desperation, fear or envy, blurs the “reality” of what you are living. Emotions are like the colours we paint the picture of our present. Depending on the colours we use it’ll show a certain mood or a story.

Certainly emotions are important, very important in fact! Yet, sometimes we need to feel neutral and calm to find our way back to ourselves.

When you need to make an important decision and weight pros and cons, step back and watch your whole story. Ask yourself the right (and scary) questions, which we are going to talk next.

The RIGHT questions

all have a lot of questions, and some of us (I’ve done that, sometimes I still do) we ask the wrong ones out of desperation.

Yes and No questions per example are very straightforward, but not helpful. Life cannot be summed with just a yes or no, life is about all the small details that were decisive but so sneaky.

What Ifs are so sublime yet toxic. Sometimes are good but we over use them in my opinion! With them you can dangerously create feelings of remorse, shame and sorrow. Remember that what is done it’s done, you cannot change the past but you have the hope of creating a better future.

Accusatory questions are also very toxic, and we tend to put blame on us when we want to protect others. Nothing gets solved or done or fixed by blaming yourself!

So after few examples of wrong questions you are probably wondering which are the good ones, right?

Ask yourself OPEN questions. Also, ALWAYS ask with objectivity, respect and keep an open mind! Here’s some examples:

  • You’ve done that for some reasons, what are those and which is the most important?
  • What could you do better next time?
  • What would (person you admire highly) do in this situation?
  • What do I really want in this?
  • What would make me happier (in the long term) that I could do (or start) NOW?

Do not always assume

husband for instance he used to assume a lot of things, building up his emotions and then acting in a way that would sometimes drive me nuts.

“There’s gonna be a lot of traffic over there, we are going to be late and we won’t find any place to eat.. bla bla bla.” (and rage and complain all the way!)

Also when we are fearful we assume things to kind of validate our point in finding a way to chicken out from facing a situation. An example I can offer you is when in the past I avoided my bank calls because I had a large debt in my credit card. I assumed they were trying to get to me to bring me down or something, I was really panicking some days.

After few months I realised I needed to do something about it and called them, I was scared though but still I did. I told them about my situation and showed motivation in fixing this situation. After a long talk we managed to set up a plan which I stuck to and repaid my debt. It took almost a year and a half and even now I’m so proud of myself back then for facing my troubles and owning them.

So we can say that most assumptions are our own guesses, and until you don’t get some direct clarification by asking, you cannot really make that thing or situation certain.

TODAY, not tomorrow or one day!

As I mentioned earlier, you cannot change the past and the future is not written yet. Today is the most important day!

Today you get to decide the start of that two or three or even five year plan.

Today is that chance you’ve been asking for months or years.

Today is the opportunity to start over.

Today is about YOU

Therefore, you know now the importance of living the present and maybe acknowledge the fact that we’ve got more power to what we want in life. In that note, what would you today?

Even writing down what we want is some sort of realisation. When you write your desires and needs on a piece of paper you also are asking to the universe! You are bringing forth something from inside you into the physical realm through that writing.

I hope you found useful these Positive mindset growth tips. Comment and/or share your thoughts or maybe add some extra advice for others!

Bring the winds of change your way by stepping to your power today. You’ve got so much to give, not only to yourself but also to the world.

With light and joy,

Diosa Ll.B.

PS: If you need any help click here to find out how I can help you more.

4 Comments

  • Joyce Anderson

    Moms of young children are usually last on their own list of people to take care of. Your site is so comforting and encouraging and I know and hope many young “momma bears” will visit and drink in the wisdom and peace of mind you have to offer here.

    It is wise to face struggles head on, as your example of avoiding calls from the bank so clearly illustrates. The unknown is often much, much scarier than the known, so taking steps to gain understanding of an uncomfortable or possibly threatening situation is the first move towards peace, strategy and ultimately, freedom.

    Well done, Diosa! Keep up the outstanding work of lifting up the women who are raising up the next precious generation!

    • Diosa

      Thanks so much Joyce! I agree with you with everything and especially about the “unknown is often much much scarier than the known”.. Very wise words! 

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read the article and commenting 🙂

  • Michel

    Loved this article and it reminded me once again just how important the life that we have is and we need to make the most of it. 

    I loved tip number two where you suggest stepping back out of yourself and looking at your life without emotions getting in the way. This is one way of taking a good honest look at yourself and making decisions that can improve on what you have. 

    • Diosa

      Thanks Michel for taking your time to read my article and commenting 🙂

      Yes, emotions drives us towards decisions and sometimes we need a more “neutral” state to let logic do its talk before deciding anything. It’s a technique that works every time because it removes the “heavy feeling of consequences”..That’s why video games are so addictive because you can be anyone or anything in the digital realm and have nothing (important) to lose.

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