If you’ve decided to not return to your job at all, chances are many will put you in the bag of “Lazy stay home moms”.
It is so wrong to think as such!
Motherhood is a job for life that while it’s not remunerated, is important and hard work.
Even though we are in the twenty-first century most of our societies are still pretty much of a patriarchal system and mentality.
Women are starting to raise their voice to be heard, but not all women want to let go of the old ways.
It’s heavily embedded in our minds and unfortunately it’s also reinforced by families and communities.
I know I cannot change society overnight. I’m still going to give you little nudge: reminding YOU that our work as mothers matter!
As a matter of fact, a mother’s job is as IMPORTANT as a CEO in a company. Without us, humanity would have ceased to exist a long time ago. And no, I’m not exaggerating.
In this article let me to state what does motherhood really represent. What most stay at home moms do that people fail to see the magnitude of their work.
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.”
This quote from Osho is very true. A mother is born when a child is born.
This new role is to provide care and guidance for the little life.
I want to point out you don’t cease to be a woman or individual. Motherhood is an added asset for your Life’s curriculum!
Yes, you’ve read right! With Motherhood, you learn new skills that before having a child you wouldn’t necessarily have had the need to learn.
If you are already a multitasker, when you become a mom this skill is used and pushed to even further lengths. We are expected now to not only house chores and errands or shopping but also caring for the little one. Day and Night.
Some of us are lucky to have our partner helping us with baby or helping with house chores. Many others are stuck with no help. For this reason many mothers end up feeling overwhelmed as they gradually get more tired and the to-do list increases.
Some other mothers unfortunately fall into the dangerous path to depression, which I’ll talk in another post in a near future.
As time goes by we learn to try to reduce stress or work by delegating chores. We learn to follow a priority list and taking it easy on other aspects. This is called Management, and it’s the backbone of projects or businesses, or anything really that aims for success and productivity!
This skill is overlooked because it’s a continuous one and people always look for results. Tangible and noticeable results.
So I’m going to show you an example of a day routine of a mama with a one-year-old child.
Note:This was actually me, on a good day. It’ll probably look very familiar to you!
- 6 AM. Baby wakes up so you wake up too and feed milk to baby
- 7.15 AM. You get dressed and get baby dressed and change her nappy
- 8 AM You eat your breakfast while keeping baby entertained and speaking to husband/partner
- 9 AM While keeping an eye on baby, you tidy up things, put laundry into washing machine and hoover.
- 10.15 AM You feed baby a little snack and some milk while you read both listen music or watch TV, change of nappy
- 11 AM You put baby to sleep. (If you are like me, you stay with her until she falls asleep)
- 11.45 AM You put laundry to dry on drying rack and tidy up the place a little bit or clean the toilet
- 12.30 PM If baby hasn’t woken up before then she wakes up around this time. Nappy change time.
- 1 PM You manage to cook something quick for you to eat for lunch while baby is keeping an eye on you from her chair.
- 1.30 PM You’ve finished food and get baby ready so you can get out to go buy some groceries.
- 2.30 PM You are back with baby in pram, bags hanging from both sides of the pram, baby awake wanting to sleep
- 3 PM Baby is asleep finally in her cot, so you unpack and put away everything in a hurry worrying about the frozen stuff
- 4 PM You prepare some food for baby and prep the ingredients for dinner ready, so you cook them later.
- 4.30 PM Baby wakes up and wants to play
- 5 PM You give baby her dinner and after she wants to play a bit more on the floor with toys or in her chair
- 6.30 PM You give baby a bath
- 7.15 PM Put baby to sleep
- 7.45 PM Baby is finally asleep so you start cooking dinner
- 8.15 PM Dinner with partner
- 9.30 PM Starting to feel knackered. So you go to bed or get ready to do so
- 11.30 PM Baby wakes up and you wake up, she wants milk
- 12.15 AM Back to sleep
- 3 AM Baby wakes up because wants more milk, so you give it to her, she goes to sleep quickly. You go to drink water and pee.
- 6 AM RESTART.
THE HEART OF SOCIETY
Some will roll their eyes at this one but truth is, EDUCATION and VALUES start within home. Therefore, we can say with confidence that we mothers are the ones to provide the core values.
We pass on our children our perception and knowledge of our world. They are the next generation and subsequently the future society.
In order to procure a better tomorrow we must provide a better present for our children, with better values and teaching useful skills.
This is indeed a big task, one that I repeat, many fail to see and acknowledge. We mothers seem to have the duty to care and take responsibility for our children. We also have the chance to better this world, one child at a time.
So next time someone comes at you and ask you “what do you do all day since you don’t work” do not feel little or embarrassed. Tell them that you are doing an important job. If she/he cannot see nor understand then it’s their problem! I would also proceed on walking away and ignore them.
You do not need more negativity or any toxicity in your life, you need support and encouragement. After all, you are shaping a better tomorrow.
GIVING YOUR BEST SHOT
Know that you can pass on something useful that might help more people in the future. What would you teach your son or daughter TODAY?
Better yet, chances are that you landed in my blog with curiosity and with some desire to learn. Am I right? So if you could choose something your parents could have taught you back then that it would have been useful now, what would it be?
And here is the twist, would you teach that to your own child?
Take your time to think about it, the reason behind your yes and no could really shock or amaze you! We usually don’t have much time or forget to give a time to think our WHY’s yet when we do, results are mind blowing.
Our biggest revelations come from asking ourselves the important WHY’s. This exercise might be overdue and it’s never late to do. Just saying.
With light and joy,
Diosa Ll. B.